I have lived in Ohio for the majority of my life. I love the Midwest because I get to experience all four seasons in a year. My favorite season is happening even as I type. I love Fall because the temperature drops and it’s chilly and brisk most days. It’s also when trees shed the green they’ve been exhibiting through the Spring and Summer to show they’re true beautiful colors. Everywhere you look you see a mix of yellows, reds and oranges. It’s stunning !!
Another facet that happens during autumn is that I get a chance to be out in the yard on a regular basis. I have days and days of work to gather the leaves because we have very mature trees on our lot. I also get to work in the flower beds that encompass the perimeter of our house to clear out the dead plants and get things ready for next year. One task that I enjoy the most is planting bulbs. They look like tiny onions that will someday turn into various beautiful blooms.
Planting bulbs reminds me of the opportunity we have in connecting with and working with others. It may sound odd, but I truly feel there are similarities.
When I was planting several tulip bulbs today, I had to turn over the soil and then get down on my knees to break it up and pull it back to reveal the hole I was going to use. It was challenging because there were countless roots that crisscrossed just below the surface. They made an incredibly tangled mess that were barriers to me getting to the work at hand.
Digging in the soil with a small garden trowel and my bare hands felt great, but the dirt was driven under my nails and cuticles. After a few moments, my hands were caked in dirt. I loved it !! Even though this was very trying, I was making progress. After several minutes, I was able to place the bulbs in the hole (pointy side up). I spaced them out so they each had enough room to take root and grow. I took the loose soil that was sitting on the edge of the hole I dug and gently covered the bulbs. The last step was to give them a good soaking from the hose to make sure they received that first dose of nourishment.
Then, you wait. You wait for months. Yes, months. You hope for great results, but you really won’t know until Spring comes.
I believe the same process occurs when you take the time to intentionally pour into someone else’s life professionally. Before you can “plant” anything, you need to work the soil by getting to know each other. This is so often overlooked because we either want to be a mentor or have someone mentor us. Sometimes the soil between two people isn’t good. You need to make sure that you have a healthy, respectful, inclusive and balanced professional relationship. When you develop someone, you aren’t there to “fix” them. Mentoring and development are both two-way activities. When someone tries to make it all about them, development never occurs. Never.
After you have good soil, the mentor needs to untangle and remove the roots that get in the way of getting the bulbs arranged. There are always potential obstacles in any development effort. It’s hard to tell if there will be several or few, but there will be things to work through. This allows you both to share expectations of each other. Get everything defined up front. It’s necessary.
You start your mentoring road together and then you add nutrients and time. There are many who try to make this a formal process, but I’ve never found that to be effective or sustainable. Mentoring and development need to be flexible because life happens at the same time that you’re trying to spend time together. There will be periods where you meet/chat often and other times where you may touch base every so often. No one pattern works for everyone. Don’t believe the people who offer firm timelines and formulas. That eliminates the reality of people being unique and having different needs. Don’t diminish that. It makes mentoring and development wonderful !!
Then, you see if something blooms over time. Hopefully, it will if you take the time to see what works for you and your mentee or mentor.
You see, EVERYONE wants someone to pour into them with their time, attention and knowledge. Everyone. The question is – Are you doing this? Do you have someone you mentor, or is someone mentoring you? If not, why not?
We weren’t made to do life on our own. We were wired to connect and be in the lives of others. It helps us stay healthy, active and relevant. Please make sure to use one “rule” when it comes to these type of relationships – You can’t be a mentor unless you have a mentor. I’ve mentioned this in the past, but I feel it’s essential to keep you balanced.
This coming week, start planting some bulbs so that you enjoy Fall. It will be cool to see what happens this coming Spring !!
Originally posted on Everyday People blog.