Friends Don't Let Friends Use HR-ese

I am happy to be with our employees today in bricks and mortar rather than in the clouds. You truly are our most valuable resource.

I am sorry that we had some systems issues when we reached out to you.  But we are agile, so we created a work around to connect with all of you today, so that we can call out to you a new initiative that will result in a knowledge share.

I want to share with you, our key stakeholders, a new value added initiative that will help build bridges. It is a proactive response to the problems you have raised as engaged participants.

Before I discuss the initiative, I want to share with you the background. We collected data not only from our employees but also from other valued business partners.

Base on key data points, we developed a matrix and a gap analysis. We then vetted the matrix and gap analysis with those in our C-Suite.

Our chiefs firmly believe that the initiative I am about to explain links our actions with our values and our mission. When this occurs, there are no limits to the synergistic rewards.

I recognize that, for many of you, what we are going to discuss will be not just a sea change but a paradigm shift.  But if we want to think outside the box, each of us has to own the initiative and leverage it accordingly.

The new initiative will help to ensure that our policies are healthy.  But more than that, they will secure our place in the social media space.

By now, you probably are asking: what is the win-win initiative about which I speak?   Frankly, I am not sure I know any more but it does like a great way to thrive in the new normal. No?

Every profession has its own argot, that is, its own language. I hear it with lawyers.

Sometimes lawyers ask me to opine.  For the record, I don’t opine.

I once heard a therapist ask each person attending a conference to write down a feeling word.  Mine was contempt.

And don’t get me started with accountants.  Unless you are talking about dogs, enough with the FIFO and LIFO already.

We in HR have our own language and none of the words or phrases above is problematic. It is when there are too many of them that problems begin.

When we use too many of them, we lose people. We also lose our credibility.

The best professionals speak in plain speak.  That is true in HR.

The best professionals know that if use you too much lingo, it may look like you are hiding behind it.  Worse yet, you may sound silly.

Two years ago, I called my parents and warned them about the black ice. That night, I fell on the black ice and shattered my ankle requiring emergency surgery.

I met two doctors.  One doctor explained in painful medical detail what I did to myself and how he would fix it surgically. I did not have time to go to medical school so I asked the second doctor what he thought.

He told me I had a compound fracture and he would fix it.  That was it. He was my choice!

I rested easy after learning that doctor #2 would perform the surgery. I suspect that the dilaudid added to my 37 minutes of restfulness.

THIS BLOG SHOULD NOT BE CONSTRUED AS LEGAL ADVICE, PERTAINING TO A SPECIFIC FACTUAL SITUATION OR ESTABLISHING AN ATTORNEY-CLIENT RELATIONSHIP.